CBB Tits, Bums & Sex Tues 20th

CBB 2015 - Tue 20th Episode 

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Sorry this is so late, bad day again but here we are now.....

So last night was the Live Eviction that wasn't, cancelled because Alexander had walked *wipes away tear

Michelle is is educating Katie H how to sunbathe, who seriously has NO IDEA.  

Perez is telling Katie P that he saw going on CBB was a chance to show the real him and when he goes to parties he is really shy and she is just nodding along politely.

Michelle thinks that Perez is having a change of behaviour because he is such a big fan of Katie P, he is acting like a real person but the housemates are on edge for when he can't can no longer keep up the 'normal' act. She calls it Post Traumatic Perez Disorder. 

Alicia has had 18 boob jobs and lets Katie H have a feel, who has no boobs to speak of, and she is nicely supposed about the difference in boob sturdiness / squidginess. She has a feel of Michelle's for comparison. 

Alicia now has no original boob tissue left so they have to give her new boob tissue in the form of pig tissue (stateside you get human tissue).   She then goes onto say she would rather be dead than have no tits. She would sink in to a depression and give up on life. Michelle can't wait to get her fake boobs removed, in the next 5 years, as she says she has now learnt that femininity doesn't come from tits.

Katie P spills the beans on Alex Reid or as he likes to be known as Roxanne. Patsy loves a bit of celeb gossip and almost can't believe her ears, Perez is of course the inquisitor but his Katie P facts are as hotly researched as the rest of housemates. She later reveals that he loved having things shoved up his arse, She even used to wear a strap on for him. 

Nadia speaks to Cami about her and Calum getting fruity and how he seems to be getting moon eyes over her. I actually think that came and Calum would make a cute couple. They'd be good for each other she needs a bit of taming and he needs a strong woman t tell him how it is. 

Katie P speaks about always getting cystitis whenever she had sex with her Argentinian boyfriend and they couldn't understand each other because he didn't speak English and she doesn't speak Spanish. So when she was moaning because it hurt (sex) he thought she was loving it.

Alicia admitted to Nadia that she needs to stay in the house as long as she can because she is a broke single mother and that's why she was so upset to be up for nomination.

Katie P is like the UN Peacekeeper, she has also been surprised by Katie H, how well they get on. Alicia is a really sweet girl and Perez is just Perez.

Patsy and Kav are newly won over Katie P fans and feel she is bringing harmony to the house with her chilled attitude.

Alicia speaks to Katie H about home schooling her 3yr old, and she admitted to only just learning her Alphabet and Shapes - yes that's Alicia who has only just learnt it. Katie H is speechless, along with Cheggars, can't believe she thinks homeschooling is a good idea! Nor can I - that's a You Tube Homeschooling video I'd love to see!

Later the housemates are called to the sofa's to be punished for talking about nominations, particularly Alicia and Calum. Calum immediately apologises before the punishments are handed out 'No housemates can use the hairdryers or straihtners' but Alicia only apologises when she see's how pissed off everyone is. 

Michelle and Katie H are not enjoying the 'nice' and 'jolly' house and feel it's all fake. Alicia gets a fit of the giggles with Cheggars and Katie H looks like she just wants to slap her. 

Katie P is called to the diary room and told she has 24 hours to decided to save one of the nominees that have entertained her the most and replace them with the housemate that is least entertaining and her decision will be shown live (Tues) instead of the Live eviction.

Cut to Tuesday Live - Everyone is dressed ready for eviction and then they they are informed that they are not being evicted tonight but still up for eviction Friday, they then find out about BB evil twist to get Katie P to save and slay. She picks Katie H to save and puts up Calum but explains it's not because he's been least entertaining but because she thinks he is safest to stay in if he goes up for the for eviction. Cami has panic attack and shoves her boobs in his face by way of a cuddle. 

Nadia is gutted she has to wait another 3 days to find her out her fate and Patsy can't bear the wait to find out if her bestie is going.

Sonikmummy

CBB Are The Lunatics Running The Asylum Thu 15th

CBB 2015 - Thu 15th Episode

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Perez gets a firm talking to, first thing in the morning, from Alexander O'Neal after he's done his usual bitch fest group to group, person to person thing. Alexander tells him to STFU and stop shit stirring. That's the first time I've seen Perez both gobsmacked AND not burst into tears. 

Perez (God I'm so fed up of typing his name so repetitively) then gains further delusions of grandeur and says that if Katie Hopkins doesn't paint his nails before midday, he'll banish her to Jail for 12 hours. If this Jail even did exist (which it doesn't!) then I am sure it couldn't be any worse than being locked in the BB house with him.

Today's task is to put on a Royal Gala for the King & Queen, the two found to be most entertaining will become court jesters and become immune from eviction. 

First up is Kav and although he is wheeling out his one and only hit, he surprises his fellow housemates because he can actually sing.

Chloe wrote a harsh (but true) poem about Perez.

Michelle made and read a list of put downs about each housemate.

Nadia presented the King & Queen with a much needed Divorce.

Alicia spoke about plastic surgery.

Katie wrote a 'nasty' newspaper column about everyone in the house.

Alexander sung the AMAZING (Criticise).

Alicia pulls Katie for calling her thick but doesn't go the whole hog.

Alexander is however less kind about Alicia but at least it's behind her back when he says she is dumb as a bucket of rocks. 

Katie has one her superior than thou speeches in the diary room but I can't take her seriously because she is wearing a onesie. I wear one, don't get me wrong, but I don't make out I'm such a sophisticated middle class twat!

The final task for the Queen & King is to curse 4 of the housemates with being up for eviction. They are advised to seek the views of the jesters but it ends up just Cami & Perez going at each other. Even Cheggars starts to lose patience with Perez. 

The housemates are gathered in front of the King & Queen to hear who is cursed and it is.....

Perez puts up Chloe & Michelle

Cami puts up Alexander & Alicia

If looks could kill Perez should be 6ft under after the way Michelle looked at him.

Nadia is making a foolish move in forming alliance with Perez. 

Chloe and Michelle discuss being nominated and both agree that if they survive "Shit will hit the Fan".

Sonikmummy

CBB The Plot Thickens Tues 13th

CBB 2015 - Tue 13th Episode

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The first CBB live eviction has been cancelled with the removal of Jeremy Jackson and Ken Morley from the House, so Chloe and Alexander are safe …for now. 

What the housemates are not aware of is that BB still wants to turn the house on it’s head and will be giving them a live surprise twist, at the end of the show.

First up for the housemates was for BB to announce that Ken Morley had been removed from the house. The reaction from everyone went from shock (REALLY??) to ecstatic very quickly. 

Everyone that is other than Katie who blames Perez entirely for Ken being removed and feels BB should have removed Perez instead. She also worries that Ken removal will result in people self censoring and no longer saying what they think.

Perez corners Nadia to tell her that he thinks Katie will be the one to take centre stage now and although she doesn’t say it, you can see she’s thinking “WTF, do you have no idea you are effectively a demanding toddler in this house?’

Later on Cheggars asks some of the other housemates what Perez is famous for and Katie pipes up that this is in fact the demise of Perez’ online career but admits she is a fellow troll. 

Nadia points out, in the Dairy Room, that the Katie & Perez situation is really bubbling near the surface now and with all Katie’s goading it won’t be long until Perez bites. 

Along with all his other attention seeking habits, Perez has now taken to carrying around a rabbit statue and kissing it. I’m pretty sure it’s not his personal one, that he bought into the house. He has also started with the talking to BB through his mike. 

Alicia further endears herself to her housemates by explaining her crack pot diet for her 3 year old that involves not letting her daughter to go to parties (Too Sugary) and giving her neighbours ‘Healthy snacks’ to give out to her daughter when she goes trick or treating, NB: This diet is not because her daughter has any intolerances or food allergies.

It also turns out she has a thing for Bananas so when the shopping is delivered (THE VERY FIRST FOOD) to the store, she’s like a rat up a drainpipe and in there stealing Banana’s …. yep you read that right Bananas, maybe she’s a Minion. And she is immediately spotted by Michelle, as she tries to squirrel them off to the bedroom.

A new, perhaps unlikely, clique has formed of Katie, Cami and Chloe and their first joint mission is to try and find where Alicia (who is still unaware that she has been caught out) stashed the Bananas but they fail miserably after they spend most of the time giggling and farting about ‘what if they get caught?’ 

With the mission aborted Michelle confronts her face to face and explains it’s not fair to steal and hide food. 

Bananagate continues for hours and Cami asks why Alicia she felt the need to steal food, instead of just asking for it? Because she would have given her, her banana. 

Alexander tries to change the subject and states that Alicia doesn’t look old enough to have a 19 year old daughter. Which works but when Cami asks how old she was when she had her daughter, Alicia storms off. 

Cue tears in the diary room, from Alicia who feels that ‘Some people’ have been working their way around the group, trying to get a rise out of people and now it seems to be her turn. Alicia you may have had a valid point IF YOU HADN’T STOLEN FOOD in the first place.

In the end though everyone makes up, Cami apologises to Alicia and Alicia apologises to Katie who makes a massive thing out of accepting it. 

The Katie, Cami & Chloe Clique (from now on will be known as the KCC Clique) have a bitch fest in the bedroom and are joined by Michelle who gives all the gossip on Alicia. Katie ends the conversation by saying if Alicia wasn’t so dumb she’d leave her alone. Well done Katie nothing like proving you are a bully. 

And so it is time for the BB Live twist, early in the day the housemates were told that they would be taking part in a game and drew straws as to who would go first. So Nadia is up first and has to reveal a tree that holds apples, each with a picture of a housemate on. 

Nadia is told she now has immunity from the next eviction and removes her own pic. She now has to select the pic of the person she would also like to save from being up for eviction. She picks Patsy and so it continues: 

Patsy saves Perez

Alexander saves Calum

Calum saves Michelle

Michelle saves Katie

Katie saves Kav

Kav saves Alicia

Alicia saves Cheggars

Cheggars saves Chloe

Which leaves Cami up in the next public eviction or is it.

But before I go on, am I the only one that thinks some of these were weird / unexpected  saves. Either BB is cutting it so that we don’t see some of the friendships that are being formed OR some serious strategic game play has already started. Given all the action in the house, over such a short period, nothing would surprise me. 

But I’ve not told you the best bit of the ‘Game’. Cami is called to the diary room  (which is broadcast live to the rest of the house) and told that she is intact not up for the public vote but now the Queen of the Fairies. The bigger twist is that Cami is now immune from the next eviction and all the other housemates are up for eviction unless she chooses some to also be saved. And BB warns there is more to come, with this twist.

Sonikmummy

CBB The Fairytale is Starting to Sour Sun 11th

CBB 2015 - Sun 11th Episode

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Housemates were still shocked about Jeremy & Ken’s behaviour and even the most tolerant of them, Michelle, is now disgusted about Ken’s offensive comments.

They then were called to the sofa’s so that BB could inform them all that Jeremy had been ejected from the house. Safe to say that everyone was visibly relieved but no one more so than Perez. Who is under the impression that everyone wants to harm / kill you. 

Ken’s excuse for his unbelievable behaviour last night is that he was drunk and doesn’t remember any of it. Neither you nor I nor the housemates are buying that. Chloe later in the day said to him that she doesn’t think he would make such sexist / Inappropriate comments in real life and asks if he is just saying these things for shock entertainment value. The long and short of Ken’s reply is that he can neither confirm or deny. 

Afterwards Ken was went to the diary room because he is worried what his wife will think, as she told him not to swear. To be honest mate, that's the least of your problems. BB asked if he had apologised to any of the housemates for his behaviour and his response was to go into a super rant about how he has had enough of ‘political correctness gone mad’ and even mocked Chloe’s reaction to what Jeremy did. Where’d did they find this guy, Nasty Little Men Anonymous?

During the day everyone had a task, which involved Michelle & Ken reading Fairy Tale’s (which related to the other housemates) and matching them to each person and they got them all correct! These were: 

Has a Masters in Law - Cami  

Caught humping in a field with married man - Katie

Had plastic surgery to look like Barbie - Alicia

Once called the biggest bully on the Internet - Perez

Was Cameron Diaz’ bottom double - Chloe

Went from Riches to Rags - Kav

Slipped on a Prawn Ball - Nadia

Revealed he was alcoholic live on TV - Cheggars

Has had 3 hair transplants - Calum

Was in bed with Mel Gibson - Patsy

Was a member of a gang - Alexander

The whole task was light hearted and fun, everyone was being friendly and getting on then Perez went a  bit to far questioning Katie about her affair and then Ken did the same about Chloe’s arse. It all kicked off Nadia shouted at Ken, Cheggars (WTF) told Perez to Shut the Fuck up, Patsy wanted to leave and Perez made a tearful apology to Katie.

What would BB do in such a situation? Give them Cocktails & Music for passing the task, which I have to admit didn’t have the effect I was expecting and it was a lovely party atmosphere with everyone dancing. Nadia has some really good moves and of course Alexander had the best rhythm and the night was only ruined by Perez starting the ME, ME, ME! show. Nadia threatened to drown him in chocolate milk and a few others went to bed just to avoid him.

The final part of the show was Katie in the diary room, telling BB that Perez will be leaving the house and it will be by her hand.

Sonikmummy

CBB Bedlam Sat 10th

CBB 2015 - Sat 10th Episode

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If you didn’t catch that tonights episode was moved from 9pm to 10pm and wonder why, then the ‘warning’ at the start of tonights CBB made it completely clear.

After only 3 days in the house, Hell has already broken out. 

Before Ken had even got the sleep out of his eyes he was being offensive, Saying he was going to the shower room to look at ladies arses and promptly trotted out there. Half the housemates thought he was joking but he then repeated himself whilst the girls were in the bathroom and had to be put in his place by Patsy.

Katie also had a go at offending everyone before they’d finished their first cuppa of the day by saying, about a Indonesian child being made to make clothes, that at least they had a job. 

Ken claims his ‘offensive’ act is to get voted out of the house but I had him pegged as a John McCririck from the start. Although it could also be a double bluff. Not only is he actually that offensive but he knows the more you say you want to go the longer they keep you in. 

First order of the day from BB was face to face voting and boy were these housemates up for that. 

The voting went as follows:

Michelle voted Ken (Wants to go home)

Perez voted Ken (Wants to go home)

Katie voted Perez (Too annoying and loud)

Nadia voted Katie (They’re polar opposites)

Cami voted Ken (Wants to go home & he called her a slut)

Jezza voted Patsy (She has a Auto Immune and that he needs to kill of the    weakest in order to become the strongest)

Chloe voted Ken (Offensive)

Calum voted Ken (Wants to go home)

Kav voted Ken (Wants to go home)

Alicia voted Calum (Safest to stay & doesn’t like her)

Patsy voted Ken (Bathroomgate)

Alex voted Perez (Control Freak & has to be centre of attention)

Cheggars voted Perez (Because he puts his arse & feet on the food surfaces)

Which means that Ken will face the public vote along with Chloe & Alexander

Perez then informed Nadia that the reason Katie voted for him is because he is her biggest competition - yep Nadia was speechless too. 

Ken then called Alexander a Negro and whilst Alexander told him it’s not ok to use that word, he did give him a chance to redeem himself. Ken however seemed to then try to use every racist word in his vocabulary. Ken was called into the Diary Room for a warning, which is no surprise given BB’s previous problems with racism. 

Then we had Jezza having a drinking competition with himself, that could only end one way and that was with his head in the toilet. Chloe went it to check he was ok and he started his philosophic nonsense and the next thing is we here Chloe explain “No! That’s not alright” and come running out in tears. 

Jeremy had pulled open her dressing gown and touched her boob. Nadia was mother hen between taking Chloe to the diary room and stopping Cami from cutting off his bollocks. 

Next thing Jeremy comes out and Calum has been elected to get his side of the story but before he can even begin Jeremy is so unaware of his actions being inappropriate that he thinks everyone is slagging off his drinking prowess. 

Jeremy was sent to the bathroom by BB and Perez had a full on hissy fit how he didn’t feel safe in the house with Jeremy. 

The other problem Jeremy had was the more he tried to defend himself the worst he made it, even eventually admitting he did touch Chloe boob ‘But only because she thought she was flirting’.

Jeremy had to sleep in a seprate area to everyone else and was eventually ejected from the house the next morning. 

In the meantime continued to make offensive comments to everyone, including those who had defended him earlier, including Perez and got himself another formal warning.

I’m just not sure if BB are just keeping Ken in because he wants to go 

CBB Fri 9th Jan Real or No Real

CBB 2015 - Fri 9th Episode

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As predicted Perez is getting annoying by being loud and overbearing, many of them are calling it his fake blogger persona. Which leads, in part, to the first row  of this series, when Michelle pulls him up on ‘ditching’ her once he was famous and generally being “Cunty”. 

Michelle is on a mission and is joining the ever swelling ranks of housemates that think Katie’s niceness is fake. 

Shockingly Nadia is very Anti- American, it could be due to there being so many Americans in this series but her comments are effectively racist and there is no excuse for her behaviour. She describes it as just letting off steam but even Calum pulled her on it. 

BB hasn’t finished with Katie yet and she has a new ‘Kindness’ task. Firstly she had to name the housemates she felt were least attractive and she picked Reg, Perez and Patsy. She picked the first two for ‘Fat’ reasons, if anyone needs their head testing it’s you love. 

The twist is she has to give a foot massage to one of the above three, I was pissing myself laughing. Who doesn’t hate feet let alone touching them (other than if you have a foot fetish, of course). 

I thought she’d tell BB to f*ck off but but all good to her she massaged Perez’ feet and was rewarded by having the niceness curse removed.

I feel a bit sorry for Calum because everyone just keeps asking how Lindsay Lohan was to date and very gentlemanly he is just very vague. 

I can’t work out if Reg Holdsworth is a character that Ken Morely is playing in the house or that he didn’t need to do any acting in Corrie and was just himself. Either way it’s because he thinks it makes him cute and lovable. 

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR! Katie just welled up talking about how much she loves her husband. Clearly that affair she got caught having when she was photographed shagging a colleague in a field, has been swept under the carpet. 

Looks like Jezza might have Britney moment first, he wants Michelle to dare him to shave his beard off. She’s pointed off that it’d be no biggie if he does cos it’s not long and it’ll grow back. He’s taken that as her daring him and is now walking about mumbling excitedly to himself. No one give him an umbrella.

Classy! Cami has a tattoo on her vagina, perhaps not the best first impression on only the 2nd day but now she is showing it to Perez - in front of every one. 

Chloe and Cami are then blatanty just boob jiggling and again the judges are Jezza and Alexander. This is under the guise of showing how hard it is to model and the difference between false and real boobs. 

Finally Calum and Cami do some flirting school playground style - being mean to each other. This continues into the bedroom before they have a weird coded conversation, which I interrupted to be that they both have partners but they have permission to ‘cheat’ in the house. I can only presume for entertainment purposes and not cynical public support! There seems to be a part of Calum that’s cautious thou, like his radar is picking up possible stalker.

Sonikmummy

CBB Behaviour & Beds Thu 8th

CBB 2015 - Thu 8th Episode

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Chloe & Cami have struck up a predictable friendship, with the unoriginal tandem boob jiggling whenever possible. Constant offenders of encouraging this are Alexander & Jeremy, who couldn’t resist ‘umpiring’ the girls Arm Wrestling by the Hot Tub.

Perez being a former ‘Fatty’ has been quizzing Katie on her Fat-ist views and you can tell she is really struggling, having to be not only nice to him (in particular) but she has to say nice things about fat people.

Later on Perez discloses that he thinks Public Persona Katie Hopkins is a Character and ‘Nice’ Katie, they are seeing in the house, is the real Katie. We can all only speculate but if the Nasty is fake she won’t be able to keep that up for a month, once she starts forgetting about the cameras.

Reg just seems to raid the fridge, wander around on his own and talk to himself. 

Perez must be pissing these guys off in there, he interviews everyone like he’s speed dating. It’s definitely grating on me. 

Jeremy has been knocking back the Champagne like it’s water but claims he isn’t an Alcoholic, he just has an excessive personality. Michelle claims that this is a massive improvement in his life / behaviour. Personally I think we have an Amanda Bynes melt down in the making here. 

Due to his wandering around like he has Alzheimer's, Reg has missed out on nabbing a bed. So he now has choice but to share and Perez is the only one forthcoming with an offer. 

First words out of Reg’s mouth weren’t thank you but “Are you gay? But you have a child!”. Perez promised him there would be no funny business but it was only a couple of hours ago that Perez announced that he had a huge dick and it got erect whenever it was near anyone - regardless of the sex person.

We’re not the only ones concerned about Jezza’s behaviour either, Nadia has spoken to Michelle about it and Perez has even gone to the diary room to say his behaviour is close to crossing over to dangerous not entertaining.

Finally someone (Calum) is onto Katie, not only that her kindness & sweetness is fake but she is the villain of the house and was in fact the person that put Chloe & Alexander up! Well done Sherlock.

Sonikmummy