CBB LIVE FINAL Whoop! Whoop! - Fri 6th

CBB 2015 - Fri 6th Episode 

*You are reading a CBB Blog - Please excuse swearing & views you may find offensive*

The very last highlights, from today and Katie P has had to leave the house because her boob is basically stinking, to see a doctor, but Katie H is of the opinion that Katie P shouldn't come back to the house for the final, as she wasn't in from the start. Michelle and Calum join in the bitching but Cheggars is dying for Pricey to win just to piss them all off.

Weirdly the housemates are still washing their clothes in the bath?! You're going home tonight, whats so urgent? It can't be your eviction outfit because it won't be dry in time!

At the last supper Calum makes a speech and says that he thinks everyone deserves to be in the final, erm that's not what you said earlier. Katie H does her nonsense about thank you for seeing me for who I really am - blah blah blah. Playing the game to the end. The others were very diplomatic with their speeches. 

I don't know what Katie P's hair dresser has done with her hair tonight but looks like it's trying to escape from her head. Also looks like everyone has seat with the hairdresser tonight.

First person out in 5th Place is ...... Michelle Visage, I'm honestly shocked she went soon. 

Let's hope Katie H is next. 

In 4th place is........ Cheggars! Another shock if I am honest, I thought he'd be top 3. And he's in tears before he's even been papped.

So we are down to the Top 3 Katie H, Katie P & Calum and I hope that's the order they come out in.

Third, and most gutting, place goes to ............... Calum! No way this is madness! Especially as Katie P might hyperventilate to death.

And the winner of CBB 2015 is Katie Price YES! YES! YES! and she is honestly shocked and now in fall blown panic attack mode. 

In other news she has on the same shoes I wore as a Bridesmaid, they're from Debenhams.

So Katie Hopkins has come 2nd and as my nephew would say "2nd is just coming last first"

Katie H thinks her success is down to Perez being such a twat and doesn't think she would have made it this far without him. 

Now for Katie P to come out and Emma points out that Katie P is honestly shocked to have won and she gets to explain that she has been on Antibiotics & Painkillers whilst she was in there (For a leaky boob). That's why she didn't get pissed then. 

Cheggars is so chuffed that Katie P has won and she is happy to have made a good friend of her TV husband. 

I'll will end this blog with those immortal words "Never Underestimate The Pricey"

PS. If you're wondering where you are going to get your Reality TV fix from now, Channel 5's 10,000BC is looking like it has the potential to be as much of a roller coaster ride as CBB 2015! Oh and I'm writing a blog about that too ;)

CBB Weekend Update Sat 24th & Sun 25th PEREZ NEWS!

It was my Wedding Anniversary this weekend, so the Sat & Sun CBB Blog post won't be up until this afternoon. 

What I can tell you though is that Perez HASN'T walked, as speculated in the media yesterday. He is in fact on a secret BB mission. The housemates have been told that he has walked, after going into the diary room BUT he has instead gone into a secret room. From there he will be influencing events in the main house! 

I'll keep you updated. Thank you for reading. 

Sonikmummy

CBB Tits, Bums & Sex Tues 20th

CBB 2015 - Tue 20th Episode 

*You are reading a CBB Blog - Please excuse swearing & views you may find offensive*

Sorry this is so late, bad day again but here we are now.....

So last night was the Live Eviction that wasn't, cancelled because Alexander had walked *wipes away tear

Michelle is is educating Katie H how to sunbathe, who seriously has NO IDEA.  

Perez is telling Katie P that he saw going on CBB was a chance to show the real him and when he goes to parties he is really shy and she is just nodding along politely.

Michelle thinks that Perez is having a change of behaviour because he is such a big fan of Katie P, he is acting like a real person but the housemates are on edge for when he can't can no longer keep up the 'normal' act. She calls it Post Traumatic Perez Disorder. 

Alicia has had 18 boob jobs and lets Katie H have a feel, who has no boobs to speak of, and she is nicely supposed about the difference in boob sturdiness / squidginess. She has a feel of Michelle's for comparison. 

Alicia now has no original boob tissue left so they have to give her new boob tissue in the form of pig tissue (stateside you get human tissue).   She then goes onto say she would rather be dead than have no tits. She would sink in to a depression and give up on life. Michelle can't wait to get her fake boobs removed, in the next 5 years, as she says she has now learnt that femininity doesn't come from tits.

Katie P spills the beans on Alex Reid or as he likes to be known as Roxanne. Patsy loves a bit of celeb gossip and almost can't believe her ears, Perez is of course the inquisitor but his Katie P facts are as hotly researched as the rest of housemates. She later reveals that he loved having things shoved up his arse, She even used to wear a strap on for him. 

Nadia speaks to Cami about her and Calum getting fruity and how he seems to be getting moon eyes over her. I actually think that came and Calum would make a cute couple. They'd be good for each other she needs a bit of taming and he needs a strong woman t tell him how it is. 

Katie P speaks about always getting cystitis whenever she had sex with her Argentinian boyfriend and they couldn't understand each other because he didn't speak English and she doesn't speak Spanish. So when she was moaning because it hurt (sex) he thought she was loving it.

Alicia admitted to Nadia that she needs to stay in the house as long as she can because she is a broke single mother and that's why she was so upset to be up for nomination.

Katie P is like the UN Peacekeeper, she has also been surprised by Katie H, how well they get on. Alicia is a really sweet girl and Perez is just Perez.

Patsy and Kav are newly won over Katie P fans and feel she is bringing harmony to the house with her chilled attitude.

Alicia speaks to Katie H about home schooling her 3yr old, and she admitted to only just learning her Alphabet and Shapes - yes that's Alicia who has only just learnt it. Katie H is speechless, along with Cheggars, can't believe she thinks homeschooling is a good idea! Nor can I - that's a You Tube Homeschooling video I'd love to see!

Later the housemates are called to the sofa's to be punished for talking about nominations, particularly Alicia and Calum. Calum immediately apologises before the punishments are handed out 'No housemates can use the hairdryers or straihtners' but Alicia only apologises when she see's how pissed off everyone is. 

Michelle and Katie H are not enjoying the 'nice' and 'jolly' house and feel it's all fake. Alicia gets a fit of the giggles with Cheggars and Katie H looks like she just wants to slap her. 

Katie P is called to the diary room and told she has 24 hours to decided to save one of the nominees that have entertained her the most and replace them with the housemate that is least entertaining and her decision will be shown live (Tues) instead of the Live eviction.

Cut to Tuesday Live - Everyone is dressed ready for eviction and then they they are informed that they are not being evicted tonight but still up for eviction Friday, they then find out about BB evil twist to get Katie P to save and slay. She picks Katie H to save and puts up Calum but explains it's not because he's been least entertaining but because she thinks he is safest to stay in if he goes up for the for eviction. Cami has panic attack and shoves her boobs in his face by way of a cuddle. 

Nadia is gutted she has to wait another 3 days to find her out her fate and Patsy can't bear the wait to find out if her bestie is going.

Sonikmummy

CBB Are The Lunatics Running The Asylum Thu 15th

CBB 2015 - Thu 15th Episode

*You are reading a CBB Blog - Please excuse swearing & views you may find offensive*

Perez gets a firm talking to, first thing in the morning, from Alexander O'Neal after he's done his usual bitch fest group to group, person to person thing. Alexander tells him to STFU and stop shit stirring. That's the first time I've seen Perez both gobsmacked AND not burst into tears. 

Perez (God I'm so fed up of typing his name so repetitively) then gains further delusions of grandeur and says that if Katie Hopkins doesn't paint his nails before midday, he'll banish her to Jail for 12 hours. If this Jail even did exist (which it doesn't!) then I am sure it couldn't be any worse than being locked in the BB house with him.

Today's task is to put on a Royal Gala for the King & Queen, the two found to be most entertaining will become court jesters and become immune from eviction. 

First up is Kav and although he is wheeling out his one and only hit, he surprises his fellow housemates because he can actually sing.

Chloe wrote a harsh (but true) poem about Perez.

Michelle made and read a list of put downs about each housemate.

Nadia presented the King & Queen with a much needed Divorce.

Alicia spoke about plastic surgery.

Katie wrote a 'nasty' newspaper column about everyone in the house.

Alexander sung the AMAZING (Criticise).

Alicia pulls Katie for calling her thick but doesn't go the whole hog.

Alexander is however less kind about Alicia but at least it's behind her back when he says she is dumb as a bucket of rocks. 

Katie has one her superior than thou speeches in the diary room but I can't take her seriously because she is wearing a onesie. I wear one, don't get me wrong, but I don't make out I'm such a sophisticated middle class twat!

The final task for the Queen & King is to curse 4 of the housemates with being up for eviction. They are advised to seek the views of the jesters but it ends up just Cami & Perez going at each other. Even Cheggars starts to lose patience with Perez. 

The housemates are gathered in front of the King & Queen to hear who is cursed and it is.....

Perez puts up Chloe & Michelle

Cami puts up Alexander & Alicia

If looks could kill Perez should be 6ft under after the way Michelle looked at him.

Nadia is making a foolish move in forming alliance with Perez. 

Chloe and Michelle discuss being nominated and both agree that if they survive "Shit will hit the Fan".

Sonikmummy

CBB Perez, Perez, Perez - Wed 14th

CBB 2015 - Wed 14th Episode

*You are reading a CBB Blog - Please excuse swearing & views you may find offensive*

Alicia starts her day by pulling Katie aside for calling her cruel as a mother and states that some people could view Katie is cruel mother with her actions. Katie apologises to Alicia for the comment but Alicia just can't leave it and continues poking.

Cami Li tells Patsy that Alicia is doing her squats wrong, just so that she can grass her up about having fat injections in her bum. Patsy just pisses herself laughing,especially when she hears Alicia admitted to loving rehab because the food is really healthy.

Where does Alicia get her money from? I need to Google that later. 

The hot topic is Cheggars effectively being Switzerland because whenever there is a dispute or uproar he walks out the room. Meanwhile the man himself is in the diary room having a heart to heart (and a tear) with BB because he missing his family. 

We see a repeat of last nights live eviction game, that lead to Cami being left on the tree and therefore seemed to be up for eviction. 

*Evil Laughter* 

But BB had a surprise twist up his sleeve which he reveals is that he will, in fact, be making Cami Queen of the Fairies and therefore immune from the next public vote and Cami has the last laugh when she hears all the other housemates are up for eviction. 

As Cami leaves the diary room and the housemates are told to all rise for their Queen, Perez appears to have lost something up Cami's arse, he's so far up it. 

There is fallout from the nominations, because Cami and Chloe were left to the end. The main sticking point in particular is that Patsy didn't pick either of them despite being 'BFFs' from the start and instead she picked Perez'

The group quickly divides straight down the middle, on one side the Butt Kissers and on the other side are the ones pointing them out. 

Perez takes himself further up Cami's Ass (I think I can see his head poking up in her throat) when he whispers that he didn't deliberately not save Cami (his Miami sister) but picked Alexander because no one else would save him. 

Perez is like a bee going from gossip flower to gossip flower. And there is a tug of love between Chloe & Cami and Perez, all fighting over Nadia and Patsy. Both sides are 

convinced the other is being manipulated. 

What none of the house have realised yet is that Nadia & Patsy are the biggest game players, after all they are long term ultimate BB fans.

Surprisingly Cami picks Perez as King of Fairies but she plays the game perfectly, she has fulfilled the BB specification of someone that will make Fairy mischief but also given Perez enough rope to hang himself too.

And it's not long before he is when he tells Cami that she should have "faux lesbian ways" with one of the girls in the house, cos that's what the British public will love. Cami goes all street on him and then Nadia calls him on it. She makes him go and apologise, which sends him into floods of tears AGAIN!

Michelle sums it perfectly, in the diary room, She gets less drama from 20 Drag Queens than she does from living with Perez. 

Sonikmummy

What's Going On In CBB Sat 10th?

CBB 2015 - Sat 10th Episode

*You are reading a CBB Blog - Please excuse swearing & views you may find offensive*

OMG I hope we are all one in saying Ken (Reg) should have been evicted for that racist rant at Alexander (Criticise) O'Neal last night.

So we not only got another racist and but a sexual pervert in Jeremy, Thankfully BB gave him his marching orders and quite rightly so, still can't believe he's still trying to justify his actions?! What a total Bell End!.

And lets not forget the Drama Queen Perez, he's not feeling safe in the BB house, I think he will be the next big drama but who with?

DOG AKA Reality Blog

Celebrity Big Brother 2015 - The Fairytale

*You are reading a CBB Blog - Please excuse my swearing*

Wednesday 7th Jan - The Live Launch

First housemate in (but not really!) was Katie Hopkins. Best known for being a Gob Shite. 

Ironically she doesn’t see herself as a Panto Villain but Emma Willis introduces her as the Wicked Witch. Katie also claims that she doesn’t need to be liked or popular. She’s totally going to be one of the first people to cry in the house

And straight in with a BB Twist, as far as the other housemates will be concerned she’s not even in the house yet, as BB invites Katie to step inside the Enchanted Mirror. To pass judgement on those who will be her fellow celeb housemates, and must pick the two she find least entertaining. What she doesn’t know is that those 2 will be up for the first public vote. 

I already want to scream “BORE OFF” at the screen because every other word is Scottish, Ginger and Fat. You don’t need to go on love we know you hate those things in people. We hate you but we’re not going to go on…for now. 

So the next, first housemate in was Patsy Kensit or as her mates know her ‘Mrs Pop Off’, best known for being the daughter of a gangster, an actress and Liam Gallagher’s ex-wife. She describes herself as a hopeless romantic that loves a wedding - she clearly doesn’t take herself seriously. I’d like to think of her as a sure bet to take on Katie when she’s bad mouthing people. 

The two added bonuses of Patsy are that she is a huge BB fan and she is very sweary - like me. 

Housemate number 2 was Perez Hilton, famous for his celebrity feuds and even more so for his celeb gossip blog. He is self titled the ‘Queen of all Media’. 

He’s another one claiming that he’s not trying to be liked by anybody or everyone, Believe me when I say he’ll be crying the first time he’s nominated. 

Up next was Ken Morley or as we know him Reg Holdsworth and lets be serious we will be calling him Reg not Ken for his duration. He says he has a volatile temper and only rows with women. He could be this series’ John McCririck. I expect him and Katie to be bickering like siblings. Despite him being one of the most mature housemates he’ll be first to throw his dummy out the pram over BB house rules.

Katie Hopkins Assessment Update

• Perez talks too much.
• Reg looks like he’s escaped from a care home and he’s just realised he’s been stitched up by his agent.
• Patsy looks awful 

Fourth up was……I have no idea but was apparently engaged to TOWIEs Kirk (but not now) and is an alternative tattoo model. Oh and her name is Cami Li. Her opinion on living with other women “Bitches be cray!” and of course she’s gone down the road of she’s come on CBB to prove beautiful people can be smart too. 

Housemate number 5 was Calum Best and you can see where this is going, putting him in straight after Cami. He is best known for being a TV personality and George Best’s son. He says he is no longer a playboy and not looking for love in the house either, yeah leopard and spots come to mind. 

Next in, as housemate number 6, was Alicia Douvall a self proclaimed Kiss & Tell Glamour Model and cosmetic surgery freak….350 different cosmetic procedures she’s had done in total and then had to have had half of them removed. 

She said that although the tabloids had alluded, in the past, to her having ‘relations’ with Calum Best, they’ve never even kissed. To be honest he looked like he wanted to punch her when she went in. 

Perez keep spouting facts at each new housemate enters the house, about themselves, in getting both annoying and boring. We have Wikipedia for such things.

Alexander O’Neal was the seventh housemate in, surely he’s making enough in royalties to just quick back and relax in his twilight years. Ain’t nobody need that shit at his age! I predict him to sit on the fence and enjoy being faffed around and waited on by doting housemates. 

Katie Hopkins Assessment Update

• Alicia, that’s a face that isn’t going to look good in the morning without make-up.
• Alexander, biggest disappointment so far and looks like he’s wearing a charity store suit with white pumps.
• Cami, effectively a hooker that gets her tits out.

Oohhh! You’ve gone too far with the comments about Alexander O’Neal, Katie, you’ve proper pissed of Emma Willis

Housemate number 8 was the lovely Nadia Swalha - Actress, TV Presenter and winner of Celebrity Master Chef. Nadia says that she hates people that are nasty for nasty sake (That’ll be Katie then). She also confesses she is doing CBB so that she can afford to have her kitchen extended but she is a huge BB fan anyway and is “ready to play the game”.

Next in, housemate number 9, was Jeremy Jackson possibly the biggest WHHHHOOOOO? of the night. Apparently he was the child actor that played David Hasslehoff’s son in Baywatch & huge fuck up ever since. Huge ego and fruit loop, he has even dressed like one.

O-M-G he just had a proper grope of Emma Willis’ bum, you’re lucky that Matt McBusted is in hospital mate. 

I’m glad he brought his Vapour cigarette because he’s already looking like this series Vanessa Feltz and without nicotine he could be your worst nightmare.

Katie Hopkins Assessment Update

• Says that she must be the only normal person in the house.
• Nadia, might normal when she calms down and now they have a good cook.
• Jeremy, some kid who was on the telly when he was 2 and now he’s here aged 28 acting like a prat.
• Perez still hasn’t stopped talking. 
• Basically it looks like small child’s party and all the kids are called Tyler.

Housemate number 9 was Kavana of ‘I can make you feel good” 90’s fame and The Big Reunion. He’s description of himself is that he got famous very young (16) off the back of that song and then lost it all, including his mind. Apparently Amy Winehouse nicknamed Chavana and that says it all. 

On entering the house Perez immediately outs him as a ‘fellow gay’ ….. Was that public knowledge??!!

Up next and number 10 was Michelle Visage, a TV presenter on Ru Pauls Drag Race. Yet another one self proclaiming she “Doesn’t need to make friends”. Michelle also says that anything she would say behind your back she’d say to your face. The American Katie perhaps.

Katie Hopkins Assessment Update

• She’s now calling all the housemates Freaks.
• Michelle, might be a laugh once she stops screaming “Sha-Wow!”

Chloe Goodman is Housemate 11, known for being a model and a reality star from ‘Ex on the Beach”. States she hates boring people and people that take themselves too seriously. Basically Chloe is another possible conquest for Calum, but she seems quite switched on and I’m also a possible fan based solely on that she has a Sausage dog.

Best housemate greeting of the night, goes to Patsy Kensit. On meeting Chloe “Have you had a chewing gum? Your breath smells lovely”. Who says that?!

Last but not least, Keith Chegwin has gone into the house. TV Personality for over 42 years and a little bit cringe. He does however admit that people call him wanker in the street. Best promise made so far - that Cheggars won’t get naked. He’s also been sober for 22 years - what could go wrong?

Warming to Cheggars a bit, totally star struck by Alexander O’Neal and seems to be great friends with Patsy.

Katie Hopkins Assessment Update

• Chloe, seems to have two assets and they are both on show.
• Cheggars is cute, probably sweet and loving.

And now Katie has been moved to the diary room, to tell Big Brother the two people she finds least entertaining but there is a twist, of course, the two Katie has named will be the first to face the public vote.

And Katie’s reward …. ? The Enchanted Mirror has placed a curse on her, until further notice . She can only be kind and courteous to the other housemates and has to be the first to console Chloe & Alexander when they find out they’re up for the public vote. If she doesn’t do these things she will face her own personal nightmare. 

So Katie goes back into the house, as housemate number 13 and so far is playing by the BB / Enchanted Mirror rules.

As soon as the Enchanted Mirror started talking to all the housemates, Kavana & Michelle were full on panicking before she even mentions that ‘she’ (the Enchanted Mirror) has deemed two housemates to be least entertaining and that is Chloe & Alexander.